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Bartender Magazine

 

 

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JOKES

Jokes just about Bartending, Drinking and On-Premise.

Bulletin Board's Jokes
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for future reference behind the bar!

BAR HUMOR: ONE-LINER (Oldie but Goodie):

"The best thing for you to do," explained the Doctor to his patient, "is to give up drinking and smoking, get up early every morning and go to bed early every night."

The patient paused and then asked, "What's the second best thing to do?"

    

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Read Guidelines below.  Please keep it clean or it will be deleted - thanks!

      
 
   
BAR DRINKER'S TROUBLESHOOTING CHART
SYMPTOM: Beer is unusually pale and tasteless.
CAUSE: Glass empty.
REMEDY: Get someone to buy you another beer.
SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless and front of your shirt is wet. 
CAUSE: Mouth not open or glass applied to wrong part of face.
REMEDY: Retire to nearest restroom and practice in mirror.
SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet. 
CAUSE: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
REMEDY: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

 View more Remedies and submit yours! <Go>

Buy the Book
and keep it handy
for future reference behind the bar!
   
BULLETIN BOARD NOTICE:

       GUIDELINES:
We take no responsibility in any errors or mishap from the entries, please read our legal disclaimer. 
We reserve the right to remove any entries for any reason.  No adult site addresses - No advertisements - No inappropriate language - The word 'f%@k' (rhymes with puck) will not be tolerated  - No offensive reference to any person or groups of people, etc., etc.  You get the idea.  Thanks for your help.

We do NOT edit or correct messages.  The entries in the above categories will be removed after an extended period of time or due to a large amount of entries and loading time.  

It is your responsibility when leaving an entry to leave the correct information.  Telephone numbers should not be given out - please leave only your email address. All information left on these web pages are the responsibility of the person to whom it pertains.

Need special help? Send us a Copy of the specific message from the email address you listed on the entry and tell us the reason it needs to be removed quickly.  Must specify the name, date and which bulletin board you posted it on.  Add the words "Remove Message" in the subject line of the email. This helps us find and delete the message as quickly as possible.  Email us with our Online Contact Form.  If your reason is seriously valid, the messages are usually removed within that week of notification.

     
BAR HUMOR: ONE-LINER:
A cheeseburger walks into a bar and says: "Hey bartender give me a beer".

The bartender says: "I'm sorry we don't serve food here".

Send us your favorite Bar/Restaurant One-line Jokes! <Go>

   

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Please remember:  Not to drink in excess.  Moderation is the key word.  Good judgment for yourself and your guests is most important to any successful party.  Drinking and driving do not mix!  The cocktail recipes herein are for your pleasure.  Enjoy in moderation.  Cheers!  -Ray Foley, Foley Publishing Corp.