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Bartender Magazine



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Jokes just about Bartending, Drinking and On-Premise.

Bulletin Board's Jokes

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BAR HUMOR: ONE-LINER (Oldie but Goodie):

"The best thing for you to do," explained the Doctor to his patient, "is to give up drinking and smoking, get up early every morning and go to bed early every night."

The patient paused and then asked, "What's the second best thing to do?"


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Read Guidelines below.  Please keep it clean or it will be deleted - thanks!

SYMPTOM: Beer is unusually pale and tasteless.
CAUSE: Glass empty.
REMEDY: Get someone to buy you another beer.
SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless and front of your shirt is wet. 
CAUSE: Mouth not open or glass applied to wrong part of face.
REMEDY: Retire to nearest restroom and practice in mirror.
SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet. 
CAUSE: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
REMEDY: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

 View more Remedies and submit yours! <Go>

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for future reference behind the bar!

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We reserve the right to remove any entries for any reason.  No adult site addresses - No advertisements - No inappropriate language - The word 'f%@k' (rhymes with puck) will not be tolerated  - No offensive reference to any person or groups of people, etc., etc.  You get the idea.  Thanks for your help.

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A cheeseburger walks into a bar and says: "Hey bartender give me a beer".

The bartender says: "I'm sorry we don't serve food here".

Send us your favorite Bar/Restaurant One-line Jokes! <Go>


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Please remember:  Not to drink in excess.  Moderation is the key word.  Good judgment for yourself and your guests is most important to any successful party.  Drinking and driving do not mix!  The cocktail recipes herein are for your pleasure.  Enjoy in moderation.  Cheers!  -Ray Foley, Foley Publishing Corp.